


I don't know where I stand

by Comixgal



Series: This is who we are [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, F/M, M/M, Not quite coming out, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comixgal/pseuds/Comixgal
Summary: Phil is gone for a few days and Steve has time to interact with the team.





	

When JARVIS informed him that Phil would be on an unexpected mission for almost 48 hours, Steve felt a pang of loneliness that he hadn’t expected this early in their relationship. “Is he in danger?” He asked the ever-present AI.

“No sir. This is a routine search and seizure operation.” The disembodied voice reassured. “He asked me to inform you that there is some lasagna in the freezer if you get hungry.”

Steve smiled at this thoughtful gesture - Phil must make meals ahead of time and freeze them for his busy weeks. “I’m going to go work out. Please let me know if Phil ends up needing help.”

“Of course, sir.”

He took a deep breath. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Can you please stop calling me that when we’re in private?”

There was a short pause. “You would prefer that I not call you ‘sir’?”

“Yes, please.”

“Of course. Would you prefer something else?”

“I really can’t think of anything.”

“Perhaps ‘Steve’?”

With a shudder, Steve said, “No, thank you. That sounds too much like that movie Tony made me watch. ‘ _I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that._ ’”

“2001 a Space Odyssey.” JARVIS provided. There was another pause. “I will search the database for appropriate gender-neutral honorifics.”

“Thank you. Not ‘Captain’ either, please. Really, honorifics aren’t needed”

“So noted. Thank you for informing me of your preferences.” The disembodied voice seemed truly grateful.

Steve shook himself and headed to the gym. He didn’t expect Bruce’s arrival an hour later and stopped what he was doing to watch the man set out a yoga mat.

“Care to join me, Captain?” Bruce asked.

On the heels of his conversation with JARVIS and his growing understanding of how painful language could be, Steve flinched.

Bruce frowned, “Are you in pain?”

“No.” Steve said quickly. “I mean, I’m a little sore from my workout. I- uh- would you mind not calling me Captain when we’re not assembled?”

“Of course not. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that you might prefer the separation.” Bruce smiled. “Would you like to join me?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I can lead.” He set out another mat. “Just do as I do and if you can’t, I’ll provide an alternative.”

Another hour later, Steve was sweating more than he had during his workout. His body felt warm and limber but he knew he’d hurt the next day - serum or no serum, he wasn’t used to moving like that. “You’re incredible limber.”

The man was spraying down the mats and hanging them to dry. “I know I don’t look it.” He said with a gentle grin.

“Looks aren’t everything.” Steve said immediately.

“No.” Bruce looked over at the super-soldier, reading a lot from the way the words had been said. “They most certainly aren’t.” He let the silence stretch for a bit. “How are you finding your return to the Tower.”

Steve spoke honestly, “I preferred Brooklyn.”

“It hasn’t been too lonely, I hope. It feels as if we don’t see much of you.”

“Less lonely now that-” He shut up quickly. “I’m getting used to it.” He said instead.

Bruce was still puttering around the gym. “That’s good to hear. Any plans for the weekend?”

“No. Yourself?”

“Betty is coming to town. We’re going to an archeological exhibit at the museum and then dinner out.”

Steve took the plunge, “Perhaps we could double-date?”

Bruce stared up at him from below his mop of dark hair. “Who else would be joining us?”

“Phil. Uh - Coulson.”

The doctor laughed happily. “Of course!” He smiled,“We would love that. Phil and Betty are always saying that they don’t get to see enough of one another.”

Bruce’s easy acceptance of this information and his complete lack of jealousy regarding Betty and Phil’s friendship made Steve grin. “Hopefully he’ll be back from his mission by then.”

“Oh, is he away?” Bruce placed a kind and sympathetic hand on Steve’s shoulder. “That must be hard.”

The super-soldier agreed, “It is. But this is the first time since we, uh, since we’ve started seeing one another. JARVIS assures me it’s a simple mission and that he’ll be back on Friday.”

“Well, keep me informed!” Bruce said easily. “And let me know if your weekend plans change.”

“I will.”

Before leaving the scientist said, “Join me tomorrow for more yoga if you’d like.”

Steve rolled his shoulders, “I think I will! Thank you!”

***

“Pardon me.” JARVIS’s voice interrupted Steve’s piano practice.

“Yes?”

“Dr. Banner and Master Stark are planning a joint meal this evening. They have asked me to inform everyone. Are you interested in joining them?”

Steve took a quick mental inventory - was he in the mood to hang out with the others? It would be lonely without Phil - but would it be lonelier sitting in the apartment than sitting with the team? There was no dysphoria to deal with today - at least nothing that couldn’t be handled (let’s be honest, the dysphoria was always there, Steve was just adept at ignoring it).

“I’d love to join the team.” Steve finished the last twenty minutes of practice and then headed upstairs to the common area kitchen.

“Steve! Glad you could join us. Here, chop the peppers.” Tony handed over a knife, cutting board, and bag of sweet peppers.

“What are we making?”

“Pasta with pine nuts and peppers.” Bruce said as he stood over the stove toasting the pine nuts. “It’ll be a bit spicy.” He warned.

“Spicy is good.” Steve said while dicing.

Bruce gave a soft smile and returned to his task.

Steve initially enjoyed the controlled chaos of meal preparation for such a large group. 

Clint was using his superior aim to toss items into a bowl. Problems started when Tony got in the way. He tossed the chopped tomato back at Clint which started a small food fight. Near the end, Clint flung a kitchen towel onto Tony’s head. Laughing, Tony took the beautifully patterned cloth, wrapped it around his head, and shouted in an absurd falsetto, “I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you!”

Steve’s stomach dropped. Blood rushed through his ears and he could barely breathe. “Stop that!” He ordered. “Making light of men in feminine clothing is not acceptable!”

The stunned silence around him made his heart beat sound louder in his ears. Steve stumbled out of the kitchen.

Once in his own apartment, he dropped onto a couch and put his head between his legs. Eventually his breathing calmed. Adrenaline shot through him when someone knocked on his door.

“Steve, it’s Bruce.”

“It’s unlocked.” Steve admitted with evident self-recrimination at not securing the door behind him.

Bruce stepped in. “Are you alright?”

The super soldier shrugged.

“It was a line from an old television show called Firefly.” Bruce offered into the silence.

Oh. Steve’s stomach dropped again. He would never live this down. “You should go back upstairs. The food will probably burn without you.”

The doctor shrugged, “Most likely. You should join me.”

Steve winced. “That’s probably not a good idea. I- uh-” He ran a hand over his face. “I don’t want to have to explain myself.”

Bruce stepped closer to offer a hug. “You don’t have to. Everyone in that room has secrets and triggers that they don’t want to talk about. When I left, Tony was having JARVIS look for Firefly episodes and berating himself for not making sure it was part of your pop-culture education. And I’m personally thrilled that there won’t be an argument about what we’re watching while we eat.”

Steve laughed a little. “I _am_ very hungry.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the team studiously did not mention Steve’s outburst. Clint demanded that Bruce take over the spices because Tony was prone to adding too much salt. Tony insisted that Clint was a plebeian. Natasha informed Tony that that word didn’t mean what he thought it meant and that philistine probably worked better.

Steve informed them all that neither word really referred to someone with an unsophisticated food palate which is what Tony was implying.

Bruce said nothing as he tasted the tomato sauce and grimaced.

Despite Tony’s best efforts, the meal was delicious and by the end of the evening, Steve could say that Jaynestown was his favorite episode (thus far).

Clint and Tony followed him onto the elevator and serenaded him with the Hero of Canton until they reached his floor.

Steve was grinning as the doors closed.


End file.
